Cage Match 2010, Round 2: 5) Rand Al’Thor vs. 21) Conan the Barbarian


Rand Al.jpg

Image courtesy of The Hub Pages

Conan the Barbarian.jpg

Image courtesy of Earl Norem

Rand Al’Thor
The Dragon Reborn
Age: 20s
Race: Human
Weapons / Artifacts: Callandor
Special Attack: Channeling world destructive amounts of the One Power

Age: ??
Race: Human (Cimmerian)
Weapons / Artifacts: Big sword
Special Attack: Killing things

  • Trained to the hilt in swordsmanship–is an unofficial blademaster
  • Can channel enough One Power to end all life
  • Has an indestructible sword so powerful it drives it’s users mad

  • Huge and incredibly strong, but as lithe as a panther
  • Has traveled all over Hyperboria and killed many of its rulers
  • Much smarter than he looks–both a brilliant tactician and a charismatic leader

  • Mentally and emotionally unstable–a voice in his head occasionally takes control over him
  • Has two wounds that will never heal and lost his left hand in a battle

  • Can’t let a princess pass him by unmolested.

  • Locke Lamora (Trust us–he’s really dead)

  • Harry Dresden (Now no one’s listed in the phone book under “wizard”)
How we think the fight will go

He was far from Cimmeria, and in a strange place–a vast iron cage, and beyond it the dank and sweaty hell of the howling mob in the stands–but still it was a world Conan understood: It was a battlefield, and so it was his true home. So his thews were steeled and his nerves whetted and he was as dangerous as a hungry tiger as he strode into the ring, and thought not on battles past, not even with that wily wizard in the swirling black coat whose bones Conan had ground into dust. He spared no more than a grim and commanding glance for the gorgeous wenches who swooned and fainted in his wake. There would be time enough for them later, time enough for them all. When he entered the ring he raised aloft his brawny fist and so roused his hordes of fans to frenzy.

Though he knew some underestimated him–the price, alas, of a matchless, beautifully masculine physique–his mind crackled with calculation as he regarded the tall, slender man in the other corner. It would not be the first time Conan had taken down a wizard, though he had heard tale and legend that this one commanded powers far beyond his ken. One glance sufficed to tell him that one rumor in particular was true; the truth of it glowed in Rand al’Thor’s eyes. By Crom, the man was mad…and Conan knew that made him only all the more dangerous. Best to take off his head then in one mighty swipe.

Behind Rand al’Thor Conan espied a sign he liked even better: Rand al’Thor’s own little harem, Egwene Al’vere, Elayne Trakand, and Aviendha, urging their champion on. Even as the last ululating lllllllll trailed off in the battle cry of “Let’s get ready to rrrrumbbbbllllle” and Conan charged to the center of the ring with his sword borne aloft he could not help but give them all a long, lingering look with his smouldering gray eyes… and then, the seal of his fate, an irresistable smile.

Until that moment, Rand al’Thor had heard nothing, not the bloodthirsty cries of the crowd or the announcer calling his name or Conan’s bone-chilling battle cry, only the names of all the women that would not stop haunting him. It was only when he heard it–that of the women he loved, sighing for the barbarian in the center of the ring–that his mind snapped back to the moment, and to the weaving of the balefire.

One moment, there he was: a massive, hugely muscled bulk, imposing as a Hyborian mountain, and the next moment he wasn’t. All over Cimmeria his name vanished from the memories of the storytellers, and disappeared from the scrolls, and his legends went dark.

And in another faraway land and another faraway time, Robert E. Howard lights another cigarette, stares down at the blank page, and tries to remember the brilliant idea–its hulking shape still looming in his mind–that had flashed in his mind not a moment ago… and then disappeared as quickly as it came.

Predicted Winner: Rand al’Thor

(Rand Al’Thor is a character from Robert Jordan’s The Wheel of Time series; Conan the Barbarian is a character from Robert E. Howard’s Conan stories.)

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Back to the Bracket

  • Requiem

    The best part about this match is that Robert Jordan wrote both characters (though he didn’t invent Conan of course). Too bad he’s not around any more to give his opinion on the fight. Personally I go for Rand on this one, if the fight is anything like the description Conan has no chance.
    Speaking of which, Harry Dresden is now alive again, though probably with a vague memory of being chopped up. However, for him this rates as only a kinda bad day.

  • Darkhorse

    I hate to vote for God like characters, furthermore Rand is a whiny pretty boy (though i would never tell him that) but its pretty hard to argue against a mad man with the ability to make something never exsist. Liked the ending to this one.

  • Bill

    Sorry Conan, you’re numbers’ up.
    Incidentally, this is the best written prediction yet. Very nice- I hope whoever wrote this one has thier picture up somewhere under the “employee of the month” badge.

  • Somebot

    Bwahahaa! Harry Dresden is avenged! Eat that Mr. Wizard-slayer!!
    Sorry, just had to gloat…
    Really though, it /is/ kind of hard to kill a guy that can erase you from memory/ existance ect…
    Wait… how does Rand remember how to weave balefire if the thing he shoots it at never was there? (given a spatial anomaly) Does he even remember casting it in the first place??

  • Viktor

    Ok, I just had to comment…
    “Rand alโ€™Thorโ€™s own little harem, Egwene Alโ€™vere, Elayne Trakand, and Aviendha, urging their champion on.”
    Shouldn’t it be Min Farshaw instead of Egwene?

  • Yizun

    Actually this predicted battle, while very good, is a bit inaccurate on the Balefire part. It does make it like you never existed but only for a certain amount of time relative to the strength of balefire. Rands usual balefire = a few hours before. Also Balefire can not erase memories, only actions. So say conan cuts of rand’s arm THEN rand uses Balefire. Poof arm is back. But his memory of getting his arm cut off is still there

  • Min

    For the love of the creator you must stop now!
    The wheel weaves as it musts and you shall not alter the Pattern of the Ages. By calling Egwene Al’Vere a part of Rands Harem you have changed the future of the 3. Age. Go back and correct your error, now is the time for if you fail there shall be no hope for time to go on, The Dark One will triumph!
    Go quick, for the future of the world depends on you. The name you seek is Elmindreda Farshaw!

  • Requiem

    Memories persist, its remarked on a few times in the books.
    The question is, does Rand need to face Harry now, since technically Harry never fought Conan. Also, who was up against Harry in round 1?

  • Min

    Damned seems someone was faster ^^
    Anyway apart from the Egwene part (at which I actually cringed, i really liked that match description^^

  • God damn you for making this match. And God double-damn you for that last paragraph, you cruel, thoughtless iconoclasts. Shame on you, shame on you!
    Rand Al’Thor, despite being incredibly irritating, moronic and badly written, simply cannot lose against a mortal man like Conan. Because he’s horrifically overpowered with a l33t hax0r erase command code.
    Honestly, I don’t see the point of these contests when you mix up peak humans with godlike beings of unimaginable destructive power. Like putting heavyweights against paraplegic midgets in an MMA tournament. And the Shrike will win. He always does.

  • Requiem

    What I want to know is: If you Baelfire the Shrike, do you remove it from the future?

  • Eunuch

    Just want to note that with Rand having regained his sanity, he will be much less likely to use balefire if at all.

  • CryHavoc

    Oh wow, look, another caster vs. warrior battle where it’s a page of exposition and a 2 second fight.
    Is this the best you can do, guys? You spent all this time and got all these votes for…. this?
    I love this concept and it’s really cool you put it together…. but wow, your execution is making this absolutely as BORING AS POSSIBLE.
    Where are the epic battles? Where is the swordplay? Are we going to have any… actual fights? Or just disintegration spells cast over and over?

  • Kris

    Rand sucks. God, he sucks. There really isn’t much more to say about it.

  • Shadow’Bane


  • Mufasa

    I feel That at the beginning with all these heavyweights vs. kitten match-ups its only fair to expect short fights until we get some really good matches in the later rounds.
    And I really wanna see Rand face Cthulhu since Cthulhu cant drive Rand insane (because Rand has already dealt with this) and just squish him like he did Lyra.

  • stormcrow420

    Man Rand really does have the ‘Macho Man’ bracket of the tourney. He’s got to go through Conan, Gandalf & Drizzt to get to Cthulu in the finals? And you thought he had it hard in the box…

  • @CryHavoc
    I’m with you on this. If it’s just a question of who is the mostest powerfullest of all, what is the point of even voting on some of these? I mean, yes, of course, Rand Al’thor has the better trading card. All that magic and stuff, rah, rah.
    Pretty boring way to think about it, if you ask me.
    After all, a good story almost always pits a hero against stacked odds. Conan, for instance, has been “overpowered” plenty of times. I think it’s more fun to think of a way that the severely outmatched Conan could overcome the deficit in power and emerge victorious. If this whole thing really has to be structured as a literal “cage match,” that seems to be taking the most predictable and dull approach.
    That does it. We’ve got to buck the foregone conclusion somewhere along the line. I’m taking it as a personal challenge. So I’m going tow write up a way for Jaime Lannister to defeat Cthulhu. You just watch. And read the comments before you post, so I can at least have a chance to make my case.

  • Mufasa

    More power to you! But may I suggest someone other than Jaime Lannister? He’s kind of boring, not to mention a complete jerk and overall ass…

  • scott

    At this point I’m just voting AGAINST any uber-powerful spellcasters. It really is boring if someone can take out their opponent just by thinking about it. At least some like Gandalf can use a sword.
    Suggestion for next year: eliminate all God-like characters, including, but not limited to: Cthulu, Aslan, Rand, etc.

  • Mufasa

    We could just limit some of these “super characters.” For instance Rand, in addition to his use of the Source, is also a blademaster. Since there are certain places in Jordan’s novels where Rand could not use the Source it would be possible for him to face someone without such a decided advantage.

  • Ben

    The preponderance of WoT fans is laaaaaame. Conan defeats spellcasters. That’s just the way it is. You can only beat him with brawn. And probably not even then.

  • Well, he’s got the biggest mismatch in the next bracket, plus I’m familiar with him as a character. If I had a choice from the series, I’d rather write Arya Stark defeating Cthulhu, but hey, this is the setup.
    Anyway, I think Jaime is a great character. That doesn’t mean he’s not a complete son-of-a-bitch… he’s just a very well-written and believable son-of-a-bitch. I feel for him in the story because his essential tragedy is that he so wanted to be a hero. He did everything he could to be a hero, and he ended up being despised. His one most noble act is the one that everyone loathes him for. It’s maybe not forgivable that he went on to be the sort of guy who will push a kid out a window, but it’s understandable.
    And whatever you think about Jaime, he’s better than Cthulhu.

  • Mike

    Both are pretty bad characters, Rand is the more OP of the two. Really, he won’t loose till he comes up against the other “godly” characters. Ironically of the “mini gods” Rand is the only main character. Gandalf is a supporting character, Aslan supporting, Cthulu etc…

  • CryHavoc

    Mufasa… how can you say that Jaime is a boring character? He’s like the flip side of a tragically flawed person. He’s got so many inequities and horrible traits, yet just a few good qualities that make you almost like him in spite of his past. The fact that he transitions from one of the most despised villans to borderline protagonist is anything but boring.
    And I vote for Rand in this match, but come on. Conan would definitely make it interesting. He’s lived through too much to just be poofed into nothingness.

  • Mufasa

    Ok, maby boring wasn’t the right word. But I do think there are better choices.

  • Ice and Fire

    Yeah I was like wtf, what about Min!!
    Other than that, I think is my favorite “How we think the fight will go” yet. Very Funny.

  • Amy

    I am a fan of The Wheel of Time, but I had to vote for Conan. Conan goes up against powerful characters like Rand for fun! For breakfast! And no doubt he would steal all three of Rands girlfriends while he was at it.

  • Lavignac

    “At least some like Gandalf can use a sword.”
    Wait a minute. Rand isn’t JUST a spellcaster. He’s also a Blademaster, one of the best in his world with memories of an ancient hero to guide his instincts and some pretty neat weapons in his armouries.
    Of course Conan has more muscle, but this is definitely not the same as the Jaime/Hermione match…

  • Vacuum

    Rand is probably the most powerful contestant in this entire tournament. Now, I don’t know all the Cthulhu lore but seems to me Rand would kick his(its?) ass. Regardless if Cthulhu is immortal or not, Rand’s balefire doesn’t kill things, it removes them from existence.
    And the amount of balefire Rand would use against Cthulhu would probably revive Silvertongue and all others Cthulhu has mauled on his way.
    Imo it would be more fun if they had picked Matrim Cauthon instead of Rand al’Thor for this tournament. Could make for some pretty hillarious predictions of how Mat does his very best to get the hell out of there, all the while luck and chance bends around him and makes him win every fight ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Requiem

    Matt vs. Aurthur Dent in 2011. That would be a fun, if entirely insane fight.
    Actually, next time they should put the characters with similar abilities in the same brackets (Dent, Matt, Shrike, etc in the “Probability/Luck” bracket; Rand, Richard Raul, Gandalf, etc in the “Warrior Mage” bracket, and so on) and let the best of each group duke it out.

  • Aarrgghh

    the fact Cthulu is even on this is obsolete, just by awakening for the tournament, everything within a thousand miles is removed from existence, mind body and soul, imagane a Tekken match where before the countdown they do some stupid airkicks, Cthulu’s would be opening waking up and destroying they world…. he cant be wiped from existence for he exists in countless dimensions most of them mortals cant even preceive plus he has a plan B, should he ever, somehow, be destroyed, his daughter will give birth to him once more. he is older then time. so you cant really wipe him out of ever existing. oh, did i mention hes a fecking mountain?
    still should be amusing watching him plow through the tournament and looking at battle summaries going like “and then Cthulu stepped on X”

  • Caduceus

    You Wheel of Time fans are so wrong its making the world turn plaid. Rand al’Thor is the whiniest, lamest fantasy protagonist outside of a Final Fantasy game, and he couldn’t beat Conan if Conan was blindfolded and chained to a metal pillar. Conan would just dodge the stupid balefire, which would erase the pillar, and then dodge again and rip Rand’s head off with his bare hands.

  • richard

    yeah yeah yeah… Rand never hooked up with Egwene… but the series ins’t over and more than one Aes Sedai has said they would do whatever necessary to make sure Rand lived to see Tarmon Gaidon.
    He’s like the tiger Woods of an alternate reality.

  • Bailey

    I wish Conan could get more votes. He’s, like, one of the original awesome fantasy action all-stars.
    Rand? Sure, he has godlike powers. Robert Jordan spent half his life writing thousands of pages about Rand’s numerous abilities. Erasing history, killing Satan — oops, Shaitan — starting his own little harem, never sweating no matter how hot and itchy his coats are…
    But now R.J. is dead, some other author was hired on to finish the work (which is turning into its own miniature money-vortex with it being split into multiple volumes)… by about book 4 it was already drivel, and now it’s almost unreadable. Ten thousand pages of Nynaeve crossing her arms beneath her breasts and of the hags in the White Tower gossiping with one another vs. Conan cleaving skulls and getting it on with princesses? No contest.

  • Billy Ann

    No… no, seriously, you think that this whiny, annoying, mad kid Rand can kill Conan? You REALLY think so? I mean… won’t Rand just.. start crying, get depressed, or get offendet by something Conan said? Even before he got mad, he was alwayd depressed, sad, or fearing something, it’s just his character. So, no, NO WAY is he going to be able to kill Conan. Well… as happened with the Aragorn fight, fanboyishness is winning over, no one thinks that poor Conan is strong ๐Ÿ™ Don’t you know, only barbarians can kill powerfull wizards (well, it’s definately true – don’t tell me you’ve never read fairytales >

  • Billy Ann

    ..(and it seems my browser is bugged or something, but nevermind), and so, there it is, Conan is just MADE to beat mad wizards, so, he kills Rand, Rand cries, Conan takes his women, teh end.

  • DeadAngel

    There is no way Conan beats rand, he is the single most overpowered character in any series save Richard Rahl.
    I would say Rand would not use balefire immidiatly, He would begin by dueling which i think he would lose soon enough but than he would simply use the source and destroy connan one way or the other.
    I agree it is ridiculous to have characters like rand fight a warrior,or a trickster for next year have three categories fight separately, put Raistlin,gandalf, cthulu, althor, Aslan, Richard Rhal, the Shrike and other godly characters in one bracket. fighter characters should have their own bracket, Aragorn, Connan,Hiro,Drizzt ect.. and a third improbable charachters like Dent, Matt Cuathon, locke Lamoora ect…

  • CROM

    Nope. CONAN wins. His sword was forged by Crom, so it is a scientific fact that it would absorb balefire.
    Conan is also a master thief, so he would’ve kidnapped one of Rand’s lady friends prior to the match and used it as leverage. He has no true friends or morals, unlike Rand and he would use this to his advantage. He always plans ahead, and would probably have poisoned Rand shortly before the match to add to his chances at success.
    You probably wouldn’t count this fact, since it comes form the movie, but in Conan the Barbarian, he RUNS across an entire desert, stopping only to make sweet love to a woman, who then turns into a werewolf in the middle of their passion, so he chucks her into the fireplace and then proceeds to continue running across the entire desert. Simply unstoppable.
    Basically, what I am telling all of you people, is that Rand gets vertically chopped in half.

  • Samuel

    Yes, indeed Rand is an annoying, whiny, overpowered little bitch, but…I’m going to make the same argument I did for Harry Dresden, except MORE SO. Rand can use magic. A LOT of magic. Conan is just a dude. A really buff, really powerful dude, who’s been lucky in a lot of his stories, but…yeah. Come on.
    Rand can teleport. He can make shields out of any number of things (and to the poster who said the sword would absorb balefire…where’s the evidence for that? I don’t remember that. Conan’s been put under spells plenty of times. He always somehow muscles or thinks his way out, but the spells WORK). If al’Thor desired, he could just stand there whistling and playing pocket pool for half an hour while Conan hacked away at him, getting nowhere. Then you’ve got his offensive abilities.
    He can fry Conan in an instant, blink him out of existence, freeze him to death, cut him in half. He can crush every bone in the guy’s body with a gesture. Hell, he can wave his hand, and everything for a mile around the circle where he’s standing will be crushed into gravel.
    Oh yeah, he’s also a blademaster. That’s kind of extra, not really a big deal, but yeah, he could probably hold Conan off for a while anyway, even if he was just a regular dude.
    The only way Conan could conceivably win is if Rand is A) comatose, or B) suicidal.

  • CROM

    Of course there is no evidence that Conan’s sword absorbs balefire. That’s because Conan is too crafty to give that secret away. But it does. It was forged by Crom. Where is the evidence that balefire DOES work against weapons forged in Crom’s workshop? That’s right, it doesn’t exist, b/c this is a fictional battle.
    As you said, Rand would lose if he was a) comatose or b) suicidal. Conan could make him comatose by poisoning his breakfast with his sneaky thief skills, or make him suicidal by capturing Min and drawing him into a trap.
    When Conan was asked what the greatest joy in life was, he explained “To crush your enemies. To see them driven before you. TO hear the lamentations of their women.” That’s some serious stuff.
    Conan FTW.

  • Bill

    What’s hard for me to believe is the number of posts from the players here who seem to identify with Conan. Lets make two catagories here, and I’ll let you decide who you are more like.
    A-Huge, physically perfect male specimen
    B- A tall but skinny, slightly pale and possibly allergenic youth
    A-Thuggish mentality, wields a battle ax, naturally gifted athelete
    B-Slightly whiny (for all ye complainers here: ‘pot, meet kettle’!) but clever, weilds a sword that he found, high dexterity but probobly couldn’t bench press his best friend
    A-Merciless killer of hundreds with incredible constitution
    B-Somewhat confused killer, often slightly nuts, sorta sick
    A-The kind of man every man wants to be
    B-The kind of man every man hopes he never turns into
    A-Biceps, boobs, bacon, brawn
    B-Brains, boobs, bitchiness, bravery
    A-Would crush a computer with his foot after seeing an evil magician in its monitor
    B-would query somone else on how to use said computer, or read about it, or get someone else to use it for him
    Now tell me, are you more like A, or B?

  • scott

    “‘At least some like Gandalf can use a sword.’
    Wait a minute. Rand isn’t JUST a spellcaster. He’s also a Blademaster, one of the best in his world with memories of an ancient hero to guide his instincts and some pretty neat weapons in his armouries.
    Of course Conan has more muscle, but this is definitely not the same as the Jaime/Hermione match…”
    My apologies. I didn’t read the character description carefully enough before posting. But I hope we can agree that “ridiculously powerful magic” versus “anything else, really” isn’t much fun. I haven’t read most of the books these characters come from, so I’d like a little more color in the fight than “abracadabra” to base a decision off of.

  • AHEM

    Whether Rand is “whiny” or “confused” does not matter one hair in this contest. This is a battle to the death, not a popularity contest, or a competition on who’s the manlier man or the more entertaining character. Rand outclasses Conan in every way, except perhaps intelligence(which is more equal), and that includes swordplay. Conan would be fighting at a heavy disadvantage if he went up against an opponent wielding a lightsaber-level weapon forged from the One Power, even assuming he somehow got past Rand’s world-shattering magic.
    No contest. Rand for the easy win.

  • Ashendarei

    yeah i agree rand would win but come on, is he gonna use balefire everytime? He’s so much more imaginative than that.

  • Gilmadin

    I love the Wheel of Time AND Conan. I’m actually reading a Conan book right now. But I don’t care how many spellcasters Conan has defeated in the past, Rand is NOT a “spellcaster.” Spellcasters are weak little pansies. Most of the time when Conan defeats a spellcaster, it seems to me like he is only able to do it because the spellcaster has to actually verbally cast the spell, which takes time. The One Power is totally different that “spells”, and can be used with merely a thought, instantaneously.
    I do agree with most of the comments, though. Why are these characters so horribly paired? It all just boils down to a popularity contest, not an actual Who-Would-Really-Win-Scenario. Whoever paired Rand with Locke Lamora was a retard. Whoever paired Jaime Lannister with Hermione Granger was a retard. Some of the pairings weren’t too bad, I guess, but I think if this cage match thing is going to work, Suvudu needs to do a better job pairing up characters in the early rounds.

  • Samuel

    “Of course there is no evidence that Conan’s sword absorbs balefire. That’s because Conan is too crafty to give that secret away. But it does. It was forged by Crom. Where is the evidence that balefire DOES work against weapons forged in Crom’s workshop?”
    Dude, are you doing this just to troll and be funny, or are you seriously trying to make the point “I’ve made something up. Since the author never said it WASN’T true, it has to BE true!”
    I mean, srsly? You don’t see the logical problem w/ that?
    I mean, you gotta laugh…
    Okay, I hereby announce that Jaime Lannister has a secret, Cthulhu-killing crossbow stuffed down his pants, which he’s been saving for just such an opportunity, but was too canny to mention till now, b/c, you know, he’s a Lannister, and he once said “There are no men like me. There’s only me”, and that’s AWESOME.

  • Nameless

    Can’t Conan dodge the Balefire?
    I haven’t read the Rand Al Thor series, but from what I’ve read on wikipedia, Balefire is like a projectile beam of light. It has to strike a person.
    So again, what’s stopping this athlete/warrior/fighter from dodging it?

  • Samuel

    Hee hee. No, no, wait, I’ve got another one.
    Gandalf actually has a SISTER, and Roland’s been holding her hostage all this time just in case. xD. Oh, and Rand al’Thor’s Aiel have built a huge suit of robotic armor for him that Conan’s sword can’t pierce, b/c it’s made of steel from the Age of Legends.
    Oh, wait…
    “So again, what’s stopping this athlete/warrior/fighter from dodging it?”
    Okay, cool. *Tries to get serious again*
    Uh, I’d say mostly because it IS a beam of light, i.e. much faster than a man. But it is conceivable that Conan’s honed reflexes could tell him something was wrong in time for him to leap out of the way.
    Then, of course, Rand al’Thor is so dumbstruck that his attack failed that he just stands there like a cretin instead of adjusting his palm a fraction of an inch to the side.

  • CROM’s MOM

    Well, I was mostly just trying to reply to poster who demanded that I provide “EVIDENCE” that Conan’s sword could block balefire. My intentions were to use sarcasm to point out that you can’t really demand evidence in a battle between people who live in different fictional universes. To say that it is simply impossible for Conan’s sword to block balefire, is just as illogical as saying that it is impossible for it to do so.
    Furthermore, if the “most powerful” figure always won, then there really wouldn’t be a fantasy genre. Sauron would technically beat down a hobbit. Valdimort would take out Harry Potter. The Forsaken and their Dark Lord would have taken out Rand when he was just a sheepherder, etc…. Essentially, to simply count out Conan because he “gots no magicks” seems just as silly as my sarcastic post about Crom’s sword. So in an effort to not take this thing too seriously, I am on Team CoCo.
    Peace Out.

  • bigdan

    i agree rand wouldnt channel rite away for one reason, in the later books of the wot rand didnt like to channel bc every time he tries to take on the one power he becomes sick and almost passes out so whenever he tries to channel he would become distracted at which point conan would demolish him also rand might be a sword master but that was before he lost a hand and now we dont know if he could still fight as well with one hand plus its conan so hes screwed

  • Samuel

    Well, with all due respect, man, you’re kind of on a site solely concerned with comparing universes, at least at the present time. In the comments section, too. So…everyone here is “silly”? Well, yeah, I guess we are, but it’s all in fun.
    Also, I don’t really see how asking for evidence that the sword could absorb balefire was as illogical as the other. I mean…in Jordan’s books, balefire can destroy anything. But in Howard’s, all Conan’s sword can do is chop things up. How do you go from there to suggesting it can act like a big amulet?
    I mean…
    “His sword was forged by Crom, so it is a scientific fact that it would absorb balefire.”
    Yeah. That’s, uh, really putting the point across that we can’t know anything about the universes would interact, xD.

  • Although common sense says Rand should win, I voted for Conan. I hope he lops of Al-Thor’s head and takes his women. Kudoes to whoever wrote this, because it really entered into the spirit of it and was fun to read.

  • Smokey

    I love Conan to death, but Rand’s both a blademaster AND the Dragon Reborn. Even if Rand didn’t use balefire, he could open a gateway to the bottom of the ocean, pick Conan up with the One Power, and throw Conan in.
    I do feel, though, that this match should have taken place in a stedding so that it’d be Rand’s skill against Conan’s savagery.
    I also agree that Rand’s “madness” is being played up too much. Just because men who channeled the One Power went mad before Rand cleansed the taint from saidin doesn’t mean that Rand’s automatically mad. In fact, he never actually went mad.
    Finally, who wrote this? You don’t even have to have read past the second book to know that Egwene isn’t Rand’s love interest. Elayne, Min, and Aviendha are.

  • Citizen

    So, does Rand sh*t gold? If so, there’s a crossbow in an outhouse waiting for him somewhere ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • Lord Stark

    Conan! What is best in life?
    “To crush Rand Al’Thor, see him driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of Elayne and Aviendha!”
    That is good.
    Conan wins.

  • Lassen

    Conan is great. No doubt about it.
    Rand is, first of all, litely the creator embodied, so he is, as many of you have already stated, practicaly a god. Furthermore, if u have a look at the enemies Rand has taken down, and their OP’ness in itself, it comes to show that Conan would not really, in either universe, stand a chance. Besides, I do believe many of you are seriously underestimating his Blademaster skills. He could go up against Conan in a swordfight any day of the week, though that battle would be very hard to predict the outcome of.
    And finaly: Rand is no longer insane. So, considering how he learned “Blossoms of Fire” from Therin the last time around, who knows what uber-awesome-reality-defying-powers-OF-DOOM he know holds within his repertoire ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • Jay

    For those of you portraying Rand as a tall, gawky weakling who couldn’t “benchpress his best friend” – just not true. Rand is stacked. He’s not as big and strong as Conan true, but he’s not a weakling & he is bigger than anyone else he knows. Also, putting aside all magic abilities Rand would be able to dispatch Conan with swordsmanship alone. I can not accept the argument that Conan has dealt with wizards and more powerful opponents all his life and this is no different because so has Rand. Most of the characters in this tournament are here because they have beaten the odds and defeated more powerful opponents in the past. “has faced insurmountable odds and lived” is not a special ability.

  • Evan

    *sigh* I can’t bring myself to vote in this one. I really hate to see Conan lose to the likes of Rand… but… I can’t in good conscience vote for Conan. Boring invincible hero wins again.
    Not that it really matters, Rand is winning handily without my help.

  • Conanny

    Yeay about that…. Rand sort of lost his swordhand so a sword fight wouldn’t be to his advantage… I know he is no longer insane but we really don’t know if he doesn’t get the channeling sickness anymore… but anyhow.. we’re still talking heartbeats and be able to freeze a arrow coming towards him with the one power.. So Conan is toast

  • Lassen

    U don’t need a swordhand when you have a sword of pure power…

  • Lassen

    U don’t need a swordhand when you have a sword made of pure power…

  • Meatbit

    Anyone that has a buxom young lass clinging to his leg atop a pile of felled foes wins my vote by default every time.

  • AHEM

    Rand did not lose his sword hand. He lost his LEFT hand. He can still fight perfectly well without it, especially considering he can create lightsaber level weaponry with a thought.
    Jeez, some of you should really think about what each fighter brings to the table before voting for the clearly outmatched Conan just because you like him better/dislike al’Thor.

  • Dierks

    Rand wins, no disrespect to Conan, but they are both main characters and everyone knows that main characters always have luck on their side and overcome insurmountable odds, so they cancel eachother out. After that you go by who is more powerfel.

  • Gary

    Conan has killed gods before. If it can bleed, Conan can kill it. Somehow I think Conan would triumph even over Rand.

  • Dierks

    I’m not saying Conan cannot kill Rand so much as I’m saying Rand will have an easier time killing Conan. Sure, either one has the ability to kill the other, but when you get down to it, Rand has more tools at his disposal.

  • rkolo

    Gotta disagree with the story at the top for a couple of reasons.
    #1 Conan is a seasoned experienced fighter and would not be distracted by the females or rush headlong into a fight with a spellcaster.
    #2 If Elayne, Aviendha, and Min (not Egwene) were to have swooning thoughts about Conan, Rand wouldn’t just hear it, he would feel it as part of his bond. It would probably set him back and make him lose a little ground Lews Therin Telamon in his head – just think of Rand trying to deal with images of Conan giving it to his women. It wouldn’t send him into reality, it would make him dizzy like those images from his bond always do. This would give Conan time to get at least a few licks in.
    Conan would more than likely lose this fight, although he would probably find and exploit Rand’s tainted scar and make him useless for the next round.

  • Kyhkaen

    For the Conan fanboys-
    Conan kills wizards, you know the frail-bodied, ever-gloating, slow magic build-up spell casters. Rand is-
    A. Not frail in any way (Unless held up to Conan, of course)
    B. Gloating? He destroyed a mortal enemy’s entire castle as soon as he found out she was there. Not quite.
    C. Rand weaves with thoughts, there is no magic words or build-up of power.
    Sorry, but Rand is just not the same, there is no strength of will that allows you to resist being unwoven, and no being that is fast enough to dodge a beam of light (Light, you know, the thing that defines our understanding of time) the size of a horse. Rand with Saidin equals a dead (non-existent?) Conan.
    For the Rand fanboys-
    Conan kills things. Strong things, fast things, strong and fast things, and last but not least, Godzilla-sized things. On a fighter scale with the WoT Blademaster being a 10 of 10, Conan breaks the scale. Rand loses any martial fight with Conan, even with Conan unarmed and Rand with two hands again.
    For the constantly complaining crowd-
    Yes, it’s unfair, we get it, we got it the second, third, fourth, and fifth times you said it. Plus, Rand isn’t emo, he has a job to do and he’s going to do it, even thinking he has to die to finish it. Before that, he lost a hand and then got up without a word to ask if everyone was okay. Maybe I’ve been mistaken about what an emo is…

  • Chris

    Rand can’t grab the OP without falling over. Conan would be all over Rand the moment Rand tried to touch the source. Conan wins.
    If Rand tries to match Conan hand to hand. No contest. Rand is very good with a blade. a Master after only a couple of years training. Conan was born with a sword. He is destruction incarnate.
    Conan wins

  • Thabin

    Rand thinks, and Conan explodes.
    Rand thinks, and Conan is torn to pieces by a million arrows of fire.
    Rand thinks, and Conan is tied up with weaves of air, hanging helpless, Rand ties off the weaves, and is ready for the next fight.
    Rand thinks, and Conan is cut in half by a gateway.
    Rand thinks, and Conan falls through a gateway into the world of dreams.
    Rand thinks, and the earth explodes under Conan’s feet.
    Rand thinks, and Conan is defeated in pretty much any way Rand wants to defeat him.
    Rand says “let’s fight” and they dual for hours, Conan has a slight advantage, but every time Conan is able to out swordsmanship him, Rand stops the blade with a weave of air. Eventually the aiel maidens arrive and Rand has to kill Conan to protect the maidens.
    I really see no way Conan could win this fight.

  • yar

    Bravo to Kyhkaen for the fairest analysis of this bout so far.
    Rand is a blademaster – not the best swordsman to ever live, probably not the best living (especially with the loss of his hand, as he used both hands in swordfighting. Even with both hands, if this fight happened in a Stedding – barring some freak Ta’veren event – Conan would destroy Rand. If you’ve read even some of Conan’s bookscape you know that there isn’t much he can’t beat in a melee, be it a hundred-foot monster or a master gladiator.
    Be that as it may, Rand is -not- at all the same thing as the wizards Conan has dispatched. Rand isn’t a wizard, calling him that is like calling an aircraft carrier a boat. Conan would be obliterated instantly, and honestly there isn’t much here that could stand up to him.
    Gandalf would die, at least physically. Rand’s magic is simply faster and harder to realistically block. I’m not sure what would happen to his spirit, since he is Maiar, but their descent from Ea and break from the Ainur has caused them to be slaves to time, and we know what balefire does to mortal souls.
    Aslan is definitely wrought of mortal flesh, he says so himself, as he was birthed by the Emperor-Over-the-Sea to guard and not to rule. He would also lose, at least physically, for the same reason as Gandalf. Rand’s magic is faster, Aslan has the tendancy to monologue, and often attacks first physically. I’m not sure what balefire would do to his spirit, since as long as children believe in Narnia he exists… but I definitely think any amount of it would remove him from the cagematch.
    Cthulhu has the biggest question mark – he has sustained physical damage before (though quickly healed) – which suggests he would be vulnerable to massive amounts of Saidin. I am not sure what effect balefire would have on him, but I’m sure it wouldn’t be pretty.
    Also, wtf thinks Rand is emo? He is the exact opposite, psychotically so…

  • Aryador

    One of the best comments in this thread.
    Yes, it is unfair. Of course it is unfair. What did you guys expect? This is a contest where some of the most powerful heroes of their worlds come together. Some authors like to write their heroes strong, powerful and near invincible. Sometimes they have to, because they also tend to write the evil-evil-opponents strong, powerful and nearly invincible.
    Other authors prefer to take it a level down. Those more down to earth heroes will loose against the Uber-Chars. Unless somebody comes up with a really witty, funny, nice idea, why the Underdog wins. Like the very nice sentence from the last match: “Conan wins. He always wins. He defies logic.” But you can only use that once, lest it gets boring. Over at the Drizzt-Shrike-match, the suvudu team came up with an ironic idea why Drizzt should win (which is, logically, impossible of course). The first voters got along with it, and suddenly there was an outcry that this is “stupid”, and Drizzt obviously only wins because of his fandom.
    So either way, people will complain. If the strong guys win, they will complain it’s boring. If the weak guys win, they will complain that it’s not logic.
    What all those people dont see is: The funny part about this whole contest is not about actually who wins. It’s about imagining two totally different characters from totally differen worlds meeting each other. And coming up with some interesting discussion on how this fight would work out.
    That’s all there is.
    Don’t try to put more in there than that. Don’t be so stupid to think that if we would have “equal” teams of fighter-fighter, mage-mage and vampire-vampire, we suddenly would have more interesting or “equal” fights. We would not. There still would be Uber-fighters and normal ones. And in the semi final, the fighters would meet the mages, and die. This is no real contest. It’s a fun contest. So please stop whining about the rules and the settings, because you’re spoiling the fun.
    Anyway: This fight goes to Rand.
    (… and I still hope, Jaime will somehow beat Cthulhu!)

  • Citizen

    It’s totally true, Rand wins this one. And, having just been introduced to the term “emo”, and looked it up in multiple places, I agree that Rand is not emo. However, he does seems to be unstable, and prone to possession. He may be free of that at the moment, but who knows what the next book will bring? In short, Rand vs. Gandalf, the likely next round pairing, is not a done deal. Looking forward to that one.

  • Citizen

    It is up to us whether Jaime beats Cthulhu. The whole proposition is ridiculous, yes, but so is Cthulhu itself. We need convincing narratives. I have one draft, and will work on more. I encourage others to contribute, Jaime can beat Cthulhu if we create good fiction to support our votes. All gods must die.

  • Gazglum

    Valar morghulis eh Citizen?

  • Lassen

    Well said, sir, well said ๐Ÿ˜‰
    (and i still hold to, that the image of the Shrike nearly crying makes Drizzt deserve the vote no matter how ludicrous :D)

  • Citizen

    Gazglum: Ghost Rules (with a strong second to the growing dragons, and an honorable mention for Bran). I’m seeing a dragons vs. Others matchup somewhere in the future, and never count Tyrion out.

  • Citizen

    Gazglum: I also have to confess that Arya is definitely getting cooler (as are most of the major characters that are still alive, GRRM excels at this). Even Sansa is gaining some maturity, who knows what will happen next.

  • Citizen

    Lassen, you have a point. The notion that the Shrike might cry tickles Dent levels of improbability. Not sure what is happening with the voting, but that is a nice vignette.

  • Shen

    No offense to the WoT-fans here, but I don’t think Rand would win. He IS a blademaster and also know to be quite honourable, and if Conan does any kind of research he would know this.
    So, Conan challenges Rand to a duel. Rand, believing himself invincible, accepts. Being honourable and everything he will try to defeat the barbarian using swords alone. And IF the fight seems to be going downhill, he can always blast Conan to pieces with his powers. Big mistake.
    Rand walks into the fight, doing “the Heron prances about” and what-not. His behaviour puzzles Conan for a second or so before he launches himself at the civilized man. Rand dies. Thats it. You don’t fight Conan with a sword and live

  • Nefaline

    Dang it, everyone keeps saying that Rand is Also a Blademaster…. was…. how can he still be a blade master with one hand? He even thinks to himself that he would have to relearn all of the forms, because most of them are for TWO Hands! Maybe with his fire forged sword? Maybe he wouldn’t need his other hand?
    And who said he was skinny? He’s probably at least 6’4″ and has wide shoulders.

  • Nerdington Lexington

    Ok this is how this fight would really go:
    Rand Al’Thor stood in the center of the ring awaiting his next combatant. The assassin was easy, this next one he wasn’t so sure of. Matt had gone to gamble on the fight between the strange wizard from the future and the Barbarian, and Matt LOST! Who would have thought that a powerful caster with a bit of luck on his side, and Matt betting on him, would lose!?
    ‘You need to make this quick Al’Thor.’ exclaimed the kinslayer in his mind. ‘He is not a man to be trifled with and though you think yourself a blademaster, I believe this man to be deadlier than you by far.’
    Rand just ignored the voice, despite how right it often was, he could not lose to a man with a sword! Besides, he had heard of some of the other contestants and was certain he would have to conserve his true strength for the final matches.
    As he considered the “Shrike” and the monstrosity called “Cthulhu”, the gates to the arena opened and let in his challenger. Rand was stunned. Never in his life had he seen a man such as this. Standing maybe an inch taller than himself with a tan deeper than that of the Aiel, Conan the Barbarian strode into the arena showing not a shred of apprehension. He was more powerfully built than his friend Perrin, and moved with a grace deadlier than Lan. In one hand was a great blade, finely crafted and recently cleaned. In the other was a fistful of hair attached to a rather surprised looking face. That poor wizard look like he had lived a tough life.
    Conan threw the head with a flick of his wrist and it landed halfway between the two, facing Rand. “I have heard it is your destiny to both save and destroy your world.” spoke the mighty Barbarian in a voice that resonated throughout the Arena in a rich deep baritone. Was there anything about this man that was not perfect. “I will free you of this burden Sorcerer!” It wasn’t a threat, he spoke the words as though it had already happened.
    ‘Al’Thor! Do not play around with this man, you must use your power it can no longer taint you, you have nothing to fear! Nothing except him if you attempt to be foolish and noble.’ Chided the kinslayer. “No” Rand spoke both in response to the badgering voice in his head and to Conan’s casual statement.
    “Come Barbarian, with everything you have or you will die quickly” Rand said as he drew his sword and assumed the void, any doubt about winning consumed by the inner flame. No Calandor, no flame wrought blade of the power, a sword! He took his first stance, river meets the mountain, as the Barbarian began running.
    Conan jogged, somewhat cautiously, towards the Sorcerer ready to move faster than any cat to avoid whatever magiks this mad man might throw at him. It appeared however that the mad man actually wanted to face him blade to blade. A smirk split across his chiseled face. Too noble to use magiks against a man eh? This fool would die fast.
    The crowd seemed to be holding their breath as the gap between the two legends closed. Well forged, well used blades met equally crafted. And the crowd went WILD! Conan’s blows fell like an avalanche, purely offensive and lightning quick. Conan believed the blade was meant for killing not for defense, instead lithely twisting his body to avoid any strikes that had a small chance of hitting him. Rand did not abide by the same philosophy, He shifted through the stances without thought or effort though he was being forced to act purely defensively.
    The Barbarian was relentless! As strong if not stronger than a trolloc! Though he was able to ignore it within the void, the pain in his side from his old wound was growing. He was vaguely aware that he might actually lose this competition of might and skill. And so the one power filled him. Were he not so immersed in the void he might even feel sorry for the Barbarian. He wove the flows of air that would halt the movements of the cunning brute and assure his victory in one quick motion.
    Conan new the boy was casting some sort of spell immediately. It was a change in the crazy ones demeanor that gave it away. Rand was suddenly full of confidence he was losing as the fight progressed. Conan felt the air begin to wrap around his statuesque figure and knew he would not be able to use force to break the bonds the sorcerer was weaving. So instead he retreated. His maddening assault turning instantly into a backwards somersault. Though Rand gave no sign of incantation, Conan could still feel the bonds being formed and slip through them with relative ease. But he had to keep moving.
    Rand was shocked that such a feat could even be accomplished. Never before had he seen someone evade air bindings with the one-power before. It mattered little however as Rand could easily weave multiple flows at once. Drawing upon fire whilst keeping the press of air, he hurled a bolt of lightning at the location he knew the Barbarian would be forced to move to avoid restraint.
    Conan felt the change in the air before the spell was finished. This boy did indeed possess godlike power if he could command such elements seemingly so easily. Numerous possibilities of the way this would end raced through the Barbarians mind in less than a second. None of them seemed ideal. So he acted; hurling his blade with all the might Krom could lend him towards the Sorcerer.
    Surprisingly for both of them, the metal blade attracted the lightning bolt, sending it strait back at Rand who barely managed to erect a power wrought shield in time to block the surely fatal blow. As the smoke cleared Rand looked on in horror as the Barbarian closed the gap Rand had woven between them. Panic threatened to overtake the void as he released a burst of the power that sent flames in every direction, something the Brute could certainly not avoid.
    Conan felt flames hotter than any he had encountered envelop his body, licking the skin off of his bones. But the blast was sent outwards and he was moving in. His time spent in the inferno would be devastating but brief. He would survive and have a moment of surprise. To kill this man he needed a weapon and his own was now a pile of liquid. As the Sorcerer seemed to relish in his own power and victory, the blackened halfman that was now Conan reached for the one thing Rand should have guarded more closely; Calandor. What remained of Conan’s hands firmly grasped the handle of the weapon seemingly made of glass and in one fluid motion the powerful blackened figure spun the blade and connected it with the sorcerers neck.
    As the sword that was not a Sword bit into Rands flesh, Conan suddenly felt a pit in his chest. A bar of seemingly liquid white light was issuing forth from rands hands, and in a moment, Conan the Barbarian ceased to be.
    Rand stood in the center of the arena. He had hardly moved in this fight though it had exhausted him a great deal. Calandor was in its scabbard at is side where it belonged and Rands neck was untouched. But the memory was there. Had Rand crafted the balefire a second later, his head would have joined that other unfortunate wizards. He gave a slightly regretful look at the melted blade of the greatest warrior he would ever know. Perhaps he should have lost, dieing would be easier. “The wheel weaves as the wheel wills” he muttered under his breath. And with a chuckle that seemed half mad, he steeled himself for his next encounter.

  • Lexington Nerdington

    BTW, I will gladly write more of these if people like this one. Sorry it is so long but so is the “Wheel of Time” series ๐Ÿ˜›

  • Yizun

    Okay i feel like some people are confused on the rules of this tournament. It is a “Cage Match”. So to all those who are saying “Well conan could win ’cause he kidnapped friend/poisoned tea/ other planning in advance” it doesnt work like that. This is a “Cage Match”. No crazy elaborate plans. It is a one on one duke-it-out fest. Whoever is more powerful is the one who gets out of there alive. This isn’t “activatecrazyelaborateplan match”

  • HaXoR

    Well written Lexington, well written.

  • Jim

    Ooops, there, Yizon… NOW you’ve gone and done it: let the cat out of the bag, you did, and that cat’s a sabretooth.
    Please, allow me to quote Yizon for those who were too busy doing the Internet equivalent of yammering “lalalalalalalala…” with their fingers jammed in their ears:
    This isn’t “activatecrazyelaborateplan match”
    BUT, sadly, there are match-ups in here that are destined to be no more than glorified popularity contests. Not what I’d prefer, but it’s just the way it will be with the nature of the “vote for the winner” format.
    I’ve voted on this one – voted for the logical winner. Voted against my favorite. That sucks, but it wouldn’t make sense to me to place a vote any other way. I’ve voted for favorites and I’ve voted against favorites, but I’ve consistently voted for the ones I thought had the best shot at winning each confrontation.
    Well, I sure do wish someone can manage to take down Cthulhu in a quasi-realistic fashion. I really don’t like the thought of a gargantuan, tentacled nightmare roaring in victory and waving its Multiverse Cage Match Championship Belt over its head(?) for all its fans to see. But if it loses to some sappy mortal that obviously has no business stepping into the ring with it, well, isn’t that just like payin’ good money to see a rigged match? Useless and pathetic?
    Just sayin’: these “Cage Matches” really ought to end with a resounding, “Oh, yeah! Awesome…that could happen!” from all of us spectators. And that should come without a lot of weepy-eyed, rabidfanboyish whining.

  • Ben

    Pretty much as the hosts predicted. Bale fire ftw!

  • scorpiknox

    Rand loses because by the time he gets all of his incredible power, his books are nearly unreadable.
    And seriously, what is with all of the super-characters? You really ought to omit the Rands and the Raistlins and the Aslans next year.
    @Nerdington lexington
    You need to edit/spellcheck a bit, but man that was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay better than the suvudu write up. Nice work and I hope you do more. It felt like I was actually watching that battle man. Cheers!

  • Lord Stark

    @ Nerdington Lexington
    Superbly written!
    I’m actually mollified now that Conan loses in the end. It was a close thing and Conan didn’t go down easily.
    Thank you and please write again, maybe, on the next Rand fight!

  • Very nice, Lexington. Even though it isn’t how I’d rather see the fight go, it was well-written and very close. Much better than the “X doesn’t stand a chance against Y” approach.

  • How to Vote

    Multiply the apparent power of the character by the quality of the literary source. It’s easy to write a story with an impossibly omnipotent character, but it’s a boring contest if that’s all that counts.
    Here’s my version:
    “Once there was a guy named Steve who was one billion times more powerful than anyone mentioned on and immune to all their powers. He signed up to fight the winner of their final bracket. The end.”
    I’d argue that while the WoT series is longer than my very short novel, my novel is actually better written, a more worthwhile read, and produces a more likable and interesting main character. That’s what happens when you don’t spend 10000 pages describing Egwene’s scarf.
    Compared to all the other characters and series in this bracket, though, my guy should lose because my story is terrible. Ender Wiggin at age 10 should smirk as Steve hurls infinite power against him and then kick him in the crotch until it’s over.

  • Flugelhorn

    If the reading is a bit too difficult for you, feel free to pass, but no need to disparage an entire series because you personally do not find it easy to read.
    The thing about heroes is that they are defined by their villains. It is entirely acceptable that Rand is so powerful because his MANY enemies individually are at least as powerful. Combined, they dwarf Rand in power, at least in the begining. It is only later that Rand, as an individual, begins to eclipse the individual power of the Foresaken.
    Of course it would be a boring story if you create a super-powerful hero with no counterbalancing villain. In this case, there are SEVERAL villains who individually counter Rand’s power. It is hardly Robert Jordan’s fault that Howard did not create a world for Conan where such power existed and he could demonstrate Conan’s ability to overcome such power.

  • bigdan

    yes rand is honorable but he is also mad in book 12 when semirhage captures him with a male a’dam he decides to do whatever it takes to survive draws on the power of the dark master and blanks her from existence he wont let himself be killed because he must live so he he can die on the slopes of shayoul goul and beat the dark one whenever Conan challenges him to a dual he would accept and then blank him from assistance.

  • Kyhkaen

    Your post was going fine until you said that Ender would beat Steve. I’m allowing for opinions on the part about WoT being a long series, but did you really just say Ender would beat Steve based on literary quality? I can’t think of an insult deep enough to cover that. This is as close as I can get-
    -and that’s only expressing half of my disgust.

  • scorpiknox

    Difficult to read as is poorly written, not difficult to read as in lots of big words. Just wanted to clear that up.

  • Ben

    Conan loses because Age of Conan sucked and was a waste of time.

  • amergin

    Crom will be displeased if Rand wins…very displeased

  • lakesidey

    I voted for Rand, but I still submit that the ending should have been different…
    One moment, there he was: a massive, hugely muscled bulk, imposing as a Hyborian mountain, and the next moment he wasnโ€™t. All over Cimmeria his name vanished from the memories of the storytellers, and disappeared from the scrolls, and his legends went dark.
    And in another faraway land and another faraway time, James Oliver Rigney, Jr. stared down at the blank page, and tried to remember the series he was supposed to be adding new works to, but somehow he could not even find the originals, nor the pay for the earlier books he seemed to recall writing for it.
    Desperately in need of employment, he returned to his first love, nuclear physics, and went on to invent a nuclear weapon with laser-like properties which he claimed could destroy the world (he whimsically nicknamed it balefire, but could never quite explain why), but alas, he died just five years before a trigger-happy general proved him right in December 2012.
    And Rand? He swiftly and silently vanished away, for James was Robert Jordan, you see…

  • Satt

    Samuel was completely right
    Crom is embarassing him/herself.
    It doesnt matter how athletic you are if you can be manhandled easily with weaves of air.

  • Lupious

    I have to take Rand Al’ Thor to the finals. Him vs Cthulhu. That is assuming his madness doesn’t kill him first. Going to be hard to wipe a mountain from existence though.

  • lakesidey

    If Lews Therin can create a mountain, can’t see any reason why Rand should not be able to destroy one. Hail the Dragon reborn…;)

  • Battlecow

    Conan should have won this one. Conan as a character is to Rand as a character as Rand’s magic power is to Conan’s magic power. And destroying beings of boundless power is Conan’s specialty- if this actually went down, Conan would trot out a verse from The Lay of Kings, find a benign priest or else just threaten the bejeezus out of some dark priest or wizard from Stygia with its shadow-guarded tombs, acquire an anti-stupidity amulet, and strangle that sonuvagun Baal-Pteor style.

  • Conan predicted to lose?
    Conan?? ๐Ÿ™

  • Warlockcaster

    I know I’m late to the fight but here it goes. Rand is a great sword fighter. I’ll agree he could last against Conan for a few minutes but the loss of his hand and Conan’s peak levels of skill and human physical potential would result in the Rand’s defeat. Even with both hands Rand is simply outmatched. But Rand never let the battle go that far. His vast control over the one power makes this fight a curb stomp. I would like to point out a problem with this statement though.
    Start Quote:
    “Conan felt the air begin to wrap around his statuesque figure and knew he would not be able to use force to break the bonds the sorcerer was weaving. So instead he retreated. His maddening assault turning instantly into a backwards somersault. Though Rand gave no sign of incantation, Conan could still feel the bonds being formed and slip through them with relative ease. But he had to keep moving.”
    End Quote:
    This story is well written but is a poor description of weaving the one power. Weaving bonds of air happens instantly. It is not some something you can dodge. Their is no perceptible change in the air. It is as fast as a thought. There is a part in the books when Rand is riding through the city. Out of the corner of his eye he sees an assassin on the rooftops. The man fires a crossbow bolt at him. Rand erects a shield of air while the bolt is in mid flight and blocks it. No matter how fast or agile, Conan is still a human being. Weaves of air are stronger than steel and form as fast as a thought. They cannot be avoided. Once Conan is ensnared Rand doesn’t have to resort to balefire even. Two weaves that come to mind are both composed of fire and air. One creates powerful explosions. Send such a weave through the barbarian and he is splattered all over the arena. Another was used against Rand by a forsaken and is essentially a laser beam. However, Rand could easily replicate this weave and cut Conan into hundreds of bloody chunks in bare seconds. Conan is an awesome character and deserves nothing but respect. But he has his limits. Rand far exceeds those and is essentially out of his league.

  • Your girlfriend style just for Miu Miu handbag put in at home, fresh yet smart and even edgy, comfortable being used along with useful on
    travel around. The handset while talking sounds just fine for Skype and the couple of recordings I tried
    and as good as my regular house phone. Unfortunately, the practicality of the design leaves something to be desired.

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