Cage Match–Villains!: Dr. Evil


Courtesy of New Line Cinema

Courtesy of New Line Cinema

Dr. Evil

Age: approximately 40 years old, plus 30 years of being cryogenically frozen… who frickin’ knows?

Race: Human

Weapons / Artifacts: a sophisticated heat beam called a “laser,” Femme-bots, Mr. Bigglesworth

Special Attack: Can silence any challenger with a “shh!”; commands a team of evil minions, including Random Task, Patty O’Brien, Frau Farbissina, and his clone, Mini-Me

“Begin the unnecessarily slow-moving dipping mechanism!”

Separated at birth from his twin brother, and nemesis, Austin Powers, Dr. Evil was raised in Belgium by a baker and a French prostitute with webbed feet named Chloe. He spent his youth summering in Rangoon, and taking luge lessons. In 1967, he was cryogenically frozen and launched into space to escape Austin Powers. He was reawakened in 1997. Because of this, he is out of touch with current trends and technology. Dr. Evil is obsessed with world domination and is best known for diabolical plans such as the Alan Parsons Project, Preparation H, and turning the moon into a “Death Star.” He commands a team of, mostly, loyal minions and his clone, Mini-Me, is a threat to any challenger who doesn’t look down.

Want Dr. Evil in the Cage Match? Then vote here to include him!