Cage Match–Villains!: 6) Glory versus 22) The Reaper


The Contestants


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The Reaper.jpg

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Very Pretty Hellgod
Age: Ageless (but looks to be in her mid-20s)
Race: Hellgod
Weapons / Artifacts: Is an, um… god
Can drain mental energy from humans by sticking her hands in their head

The Reaper
Not the Grim Reaper
Age: Unknown
Race: Demon
Weapons / Artifacts: Claws, fear itself
Claw Attack!

The Breakdown


  • Superhuman speed, superhuman strength, near-invulnerability
  • Is practically impossible to kill
  • Distractingly beautiful; impeccable fashion sense

  • Killing is the sole function of the Reaper’s existence
  • Seven feet tall
  • Incredibly strong


  • Apt to break into heartfelt song expressing his innermost feelings at any moment

  • Ben Linus
    The Island was done with him
  • Darth Vader
    Never did have too much luck with the ladies…
  • Predator
    What did you expect? Your kind has been beaten by Danny Glover. Danny Glover!

How we think the fight will go

A nurse stood outside the ER entrance, smoking. The night was a little chilly, but otherwise a typically lovely pre-dawn California morning.

“Can I bum one of those,” a young doctor asked. The nurse smiled and shook the pack at him. It was clear she liked him—not just because he was handsome, but because he was one of the good ones: idealistic but not naïve, compassionate but not impractical.

“Thanks.” He lit the cigarette and inhaled deeply. His sigh was one of pure contentment.

“I didn’t know you smoked, Ben,” the nurse said.

“I didn’t always. But something about working in Sunnydale just makes me think that there are worse options than smoking.”

The nurse shuddered. “I know what you mean. It’s like this place, for all its great weather and natural beauty, has an ugly side.”

“You have no idea,” Ben muttered.

“What was—damn, my break’s over. See you back inside,” she said, stubbing out her cigarette into the ground. The automatic doors slid open and she was quickly inside, leaving Ben by himself.

“No idea, indeed,” he said, a little louder this time. He had gotten into the habit of talking to himself—at least, that’s what it looked like to a casual observer. Normally that would be cause for concern, but—like the nurse had said—this was Sunnydale, and the weird and unusual tended to be ignored and forgotten almost as soon as it happened.

“But it’s where the Hellmouth is, isn’t it? The precious Hellmouth and the stupid Key…which you still haven’t found, thank God.” He smiled. “’Thank God.’ That’s funny.” He took another drag. “Everyone in there is concerned about staying alive—the ones whose brains you haven’t turned into mush, that is—and they don’t even realize what true pain could be. The pain you would create if you found that Key.”

He leaned against the building and closed his eyes, the smoke moving into his lungs…

…just as the claws punctured them. The demon before him was like nothing Ben had ever seen, and its stealth and speed were enough to use the brief moment when Ben tried to pretend he wasn’t in the most dangerous town in the world.

The Reaper pulled its claws out of the human’s torso, and watched as smoke leaked out of the perfect holes they had created. It didn’t watch long. Soon it was hacking and slashing, all teeth and claws and murder and anger—a beast of killing and death. The demon only stopped when it realized it was simply tearing up pieces of pieces and that any organs were now indistinguishable from each other.

It thought back to earlier that day, when it had battled with Glorificus, the goddess nigh impossible to harm, let alone defeat. And though she didn’t possess the Elfstones, she was of Hell—and of an order so high that even the Reaper had to respect it. It had attacked because it must, because someone had given the demon the opportunity to kill, and that was something it would not pass up.

But killing the unkillable—even the Reaper had its limits.

Apparently, though, so did Glory.

And though it would bend its knees to her if they were in the Courts of Hell, there was a reason the Reaper had been plucked from Shannara to face all these other monsters.

It was a hunter. It was evil.

And it had finally felt the thrill of taking the life of a god.

Predicted Winner: The Reaper


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Glory is a character from “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”; The Reaper is a character from the Shannara series by Terry Brooks.

Glory image courtesy of Mutant Enemy. Reaper image courtesy of