Cage Match 2012: Round 3 Recap!


Mr. Wednedsay -- recap

So a lot has been made about Zaphod making it to the Elite Eight, and rightfully so. As a sixteen seed, he’s making a mockery of our brackets, and yet, I think we all underestimated not only his popularity, but how powerful the Improbability Drive really can be.

But what I find really amazing is the quite run Mr. Wednesday has made to make it to Round 4. Perhaps he hasn’t faced the “biggest” characters, but Revan was a legit contender for the overall crown, and Mr. Wednesday made it past the Jedi Master.

So while I’m really curious about how many people had Zaphod this far, I can’t help wonder if anyone had Mr. Wednesday this deep into their bracket.

Which goes to show: for every Syracuse (Moiraine), there’s an Ohio (Zaphod) and Xavier (Mr. Wednesday). And, well, if you don’t get those references…you’re probably in the right place!

Obviously Round 4 has some intriguing match ups, but none whets the appetite quite like the Starfleet bracket: Moiraine versus Kelsier! Not only is it the only 1-2 match, it also features two characters that Brandon Sanderson has written. For two characters who have pretty much dominated their first three matches, it should be interesting what happens when fans of both have to make the tough decision.

Once again we got some great write-ups from Paul S. Kemp and Aidan Moher. Thanks!

So here’s the breakdown from Round 3 (winners in bold; % = percentage of vote for winner). You can check out all the matches and brackets here.

Miskatonic University: Field House division

  • Saphira versus Zaphod Beeblebrox: 5,083 to 5,155 (50.35% of the vote)
  • Anomander Rake versus Bast: 5,583 to 4,570 (54.99%)

Starfleet Academy: Holodeck division

  • Moiraine Damodred versus Jardir: 2,298 to 775 (74.78%)
  • Kelsier versus Ray Lilly: 2,278 to 655 (77.67%)

Professor Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters: Danger Room division

  • Revan versus Mr. Wednesday: 1,414 to 1,439 (50.44%)
  • Granny Weatherwax versus Napoleon (on a dragon): 1,243 to 689 (64.34%)

Hogwarts: Quidditch Pitch division

  • Julia versus Kylar Stern: 438 to 2,205 (83.43%)
  • Erevis Cale versus Rachel Morgan: 5,252 to 5,063 (50.92%)

And don’t forget: Round 4 starts Monday, March 26 at 10 AM EST, right here on Unbound There are some great matches in the Elite Eight–I can’t wait to see who makes it to the Final Four!

Also, we’re still looking for character art. Check out the details here.

Image from Daily Deity

  • Phnx

    A shout out to Abyss’s write up in the comments section of the Rake vs Bast match should be mentioned too, that was one of the best that I have read yet!

    I can also see Moiraine taking Kelsier but that is the closest match up we’ve got!

    I cannot wait!

  • The Cygan

    all of my final four are still in play Zaphods had an amazing run but i cant see him getting past my pick for division 1 andomander rake.

    Mioraine is my pick for the second division but i could see kelsier beating her.

    Granny Weatherwax is my pick for Xaviers school division but Mr. Wednesday is going strong so im alittle worried their to.

    i thought for sure Rachel Morgans strong fan support would get her past my pick for the last division but im proud to say erevis cale pulled it off so now all he has to do is beat julia to make it to the final four.

  • D.I. Waisanen

    Revan’s defeat was quite a surprise; he was one of my top picks as well. I’m pleased to see Moiraine, Anomander, and Kelsier still in the game; a lot of awesome matches were missed by just one place, and Moiraine and Kelsier is one I definitely wanted to see from the start.

    Here’s hoping that Anomander can finally put Zaphod out of commission. His matches are just getting ridiculous.

    I hadn’t initially counted on Granny Weatherwax or Erevis Cale making it this far, but they’ve both really proved themselves serious contenders. I think a match-up between them would be an excellent semi, as would Mr. Wednesday vs. Cale.

  • Grego

    Lets get a Caine bonus match so we can read more of Stover’s masterful writeups.

    (also, because I submitted my artwork into the Caine gallery <.<)

  • David

    We have some outstanding matches in the Elite Eight. Cale/Stern is too close to pick. Mr. Wednesday is a god, but Granny Weatherwax has been holding back. Moirane/ Kelsier or Balefire vs. Allomancy. How fast is she? Finally we have the all-powerful Rake vs. the more powerful Zaphod fandom.

  • Please, oh gods please, someone kill Rake!

  • Grace

    Buffy the Vampire Slayer beat a god with a troll hammer. Granny Weatherwax can eat Mr. Wednesday for breakfast. She’s definitely my top choice!

  • Archon

    Well, if you saw how horribly fast the Zaphod crew was able to produce a ridiculous amount of votes to make it this far, you could surmise that this is the end of the road for Rake… although, if you’re not a Zaphod fan, that’s not necessarily good news…

  • Eltar

    I’m not so sure why Rake seems to be engendering so much hate, but never count out the Malazan army. It isn’t over until it’s over. Rake deserves to win this tournament and we’ll make sure that it happens.

  • Archon


    Hope you got Whiskey Jack, Kruppe, and Shadowthrone all helping you devise a strategy… you’ll need all the help you can get to overcome the legendary levels of cheating that the Zaphod crew is capable of…

  • JOE

    YES!!! I’ve been looking forward to Moiraine vs Kelsier since the beginning!!! Here’s hoping that Branderson does the wright up. My bracket for the Danger Room has been completely messed up… but the winner of that was always just doomed to be a nice notation on Kylar Stern’s Kill List for the Final anyways.

  • sacredhonour

    @The Cygan

    Erevis needs to get by Kylar, which I hope ends up with a write-up deserving of it. In the end though, I see Kylar getting past him. Kylar vs Odin/Granny will just be amazing.

    And I am glad Zaphod took out Saphira. I was annoyed she took out Atticus.

  • AMR

    Pity Saphira lost to Zaphod. I was hoping for a nice dragon vs dragon match.

    And I still have hope for Rake!

  • Jonathan

    Personally, I’m happy with Round 4. Although I do wish Caine had gotten farther. This year has had some fantastic write-ups, and led to a huge number of books that I need to read.
    Kylar Stern vs Erevis Cale should be decidedly epic, two trained killers going up against each other. Erevis is the only character left whose books I haven’t read, but
    Granny Weatherwax vs Mr. Wednesday seems the most intriguing, like the hype for Granny and The Fool’s match-up previously.
    Moiraine vs. Kelsier… Brandon Sanderson has confirmed he has already written his version of this battle, and it will be posted on Monday. What more needs to be said?
    Anomander Rake and Zaphod Beeblebrox. The weakest character in the tournament is up against the strongest. It seems pretty improbable for Zaphod… which means this could go either way. I cannot wait until Monday!

  • Eltar


    Take a look at Rake’s votes for the last match. He got more than Zaphod did. But it will be far from easy. Who will win: The legion of Malazan fans, or a few Zaphod… manipulators? Only time will tell.


    The Kylar Stern vs Erevis Cale matchup should be incredible. They are roughly on one another’s power level (although I’d give the advantage to Kylar), have similar strengths, and are both awesome characters.

    And I cannot wait to read Moraine vs Kelsier. That is the matchup that I look forward to reading the most solely because the guy whom has written both characters before will be the guy writing the cage match write up. It will be great.

  • Chris

    Kylar vs Erevis is either going to be fantastic or incredibly boring.

    Erevis materialised in a wreck of a house stinking of garbage and piss. Taking care to cloak himself, he scanned the room. No-one was there.
    Covered in the black ka’kari, Kylar crouched in the corner of the room, waiting for Erevis to arrive.
    Erevis waited…
    Kylar waited…

    I wonder who’s doing the write-ups. Paul’s definitely got a nice plot going. but I reckon Brent Weeks’ ones are funnier.

  • Jon

    ” I can’t help wonder if anyone had Mr. Wednesday this deep into their bracket.” I actually did, heh, though I honestly don’t see him beating Weatherwax. My final four are still in the matches, so I am fine with that, though I must admit I am sad to see Bast and Jardir go, despite knowing for a fact they were screwed (but then again I also had it as “fact” that Caine would end up being where Zaphod is right now, but alas such was not the case. )

    As for the upcoming matchups, I can’t wait to read Moraine vs. Kelsier, especially if Sanderson is doing the write up. Wonder if this will be the first write-up nobody complains about someone being out of character?

    I also can’t wait for the continuation of Cale’s little tale, I kind of want to see him go all the way to the final just because of that, and I hadn’t even heard of the character before this Cage Match. However, isn’t that part of the fun, discovering new characters and writers, I know I’ve added a good chunk of people I hadn’t heard of to my “To-Read” list this year, as I have since 2010

    Also I agree with Phnx, Abyss’s write up of Rake vs. Bast was excellent. He deserves some recognition

  • Jonathan

    @ JOE
    Here are some collected quotes from Brandon Sanderson’s Facebook:
    “All right. Kelsier and Moiraine are facing each other in the Suvudu cage match next round. Guess I should do a write up.”
    “I think I’ll just flip a coin to decide who wins, then write something that makes it seem logical.”
    “Though this is (for a Suvudu Cage Match) actually quite even, I’m going to have to play it very tongue-in-cheek. Just a warning.”
    “Don’t expect an epic battle. I don’t have the time to spare to write up something like that in this case.”
    “Okay, that’s done. Quick and dirty, I’m afraid, but it’s all the time I could spare. Should be up on Suvudu soon, maybe on my website also.”
    “Warning: it not only contains huge spoilers for both series, but a lot of wot and mistborn in jokes.”
    “If you disagree with the results of my coin flip, feel free to vote however you wish in the cage match poll. :)”

  • Voight

    I’ve been supporting Rake, Zaphod, Cale and Kelsier since the beginning. I’m very glad that they have all made it this far. I’m voting Cale & Kelsier in their matches and I’m really torn on who to vote for in the Zaphod versus Rake match. Zaphod is my best frood but Rake is awesome. I haven’t read all of the Malazan books, just the first four, and despite how it seems he really doesn’t come across as overpowered – maybe in later books? – but he is cold, calculated, merciless (well, unless he doesn’t kill you, he’s a complicated guy). Rake would win against anyone in the comp be it in ‘human’ form or dragon form but if he were to lose it would be due to something so ridiculous and out there which is why Zaphod is a great opponant for Rake to face. It’s just so ridiculous 😀

    I’m a little disappointed with Rothfuss calling Rake just a dragon especially when he went on about how we mustn’t be learning the lesson from the stories we read. He could at least read Erikson before making comments like that – it just makes him seem ignorant. Still love his books though, less impressed with him though. He did what he was accusing others of doing.

    I think I’ll end up voting Rake because I want to see him and Cale fight one another though I fear Cale may not survive this next round which would be a pity.

    I love these cage matches Suvudu and if you remove all the people who take it far too seriously they are a whole lot of fun! When and where will you be taking suggestions for next year?

    I’d like to Kalam from the Malazan series – he’s an assassin and a better indicator of what the regular characters in Malazan series are like. I’d also like to see Corvis Rebaine from Ari Marmell’s The Conqueror’s Shadow. I know his character didn’t fair well this year but as a result of the cage match I bought his first book and Corvis Rebaine would be an awesome, brutal, ruthless addition to the matches.

  • Jon


    Corvis was actually in it last least, he lost to Severus Snape in the first round unfortunately

  • master

    personally I think these cage matches arnt fair. that said I see kelsier and morain being pretty close. morraine might be more flexible when kelsier when it comes to range of abilities [fireballs, tying him up in air, etc.] kelsier is a much better fighter. personally with this I see their fighting styles incompatible. it’ll end up with whoever makes the first move. if morraine starts kelsier woud get tied up in air and if kelsier starts morraine’ll get a piece of iron lodged in her brain.

    that said kelsier is more trigger happen and morraine does have noble blood, so I’d vote kelsier.

    the rest I havent read enough to be able to decide.

  • Kvothe_the_Bloodless

    I am really looking forward to all of these matches. I don’t think that I could have chosen better match-ups for this years tourney in the elite eight.

    Obviously Kelsier vs. Moiraine is going to be really epic. Two of Brandon Sanderson’s more powerful characters dueling is going to be awesome and probably very flashy: Warning, sunglasses are recommended when watching Allomancy vs. Balefire.

    Kylar Stern vs. Erevis Cale is also an extremely close battle. The power level of these characters (although different from Kelsier and Moiraine) is through the roof. Will the wetboy who uses the shadows be able to defeat…the shadows themselves? Very excited for this one.

    Mr. Wednesday vs. Granny Weatherwax is more of a quirky battle, but a great one nonetheless. It will be interesting to see Odin (more-or-less) go up against the pre-cognative powers of Granny.

    Last but not least is Anomader Rake vs. Zaphod Beeblebrox. One paper this is a…slight mismatch. Maybe a bit more than slight. A as-close-to-a-god-as-you-can-get-without-being-one character vs. a two headed alien with basically no fighting skills to speak of. But the mismatch is Zaphod’s speciality: having already beat Sparhawk, Caine, and Saphira, all of whom probably would have wiped the floor with Zaphod’s heads 99 out of 100 times. So, to sum this match up: We have the most improbably character in the Cage Match vs. the most improbably powerful character in the Cage Match. Should be fun.

    My picks: Anomander Rake vs. Kelsier and Mr. Wednesday vs. Erevis Cale

  • Loki

    ‘My picks: Anomander Rake vs. Kelsier and Mr. Wednesday vs. Erevis Cale’

    Agreed. As much as I would love for Zaphod to somehow manage to take out the entire series I think a final battle between Rake and Mr Wednesday would be my favourite outcome. Because of all the possible match-ups I think they are as well muched as can be but mostly it has to do with the fact that I hate Odin (not Mr Wednesday specifically, just Odin in general) so seeing him defeated at the hands of Rake would warm my insides and make me all that more happy XD

  • master

    I really need to get memories of ice before the last round so if rake is in it I could vote.

  • Shadow’sBane

    just to remind Some people.
    Moiraine is Robert Jordan’s Character…and not Brandon Sanderson’s…Brandon may be writing WoT books now …but he didn’t invent those characters…calling them Brandon’s characters is not ringht.
    i know it doesn’t mean much…but i find it quite irksome.

  • Samuel

    Interesting…we’ve seen the sheer crushing force of the Wheel of Time fans before, so I don’t know whether to count Moiraine out just yet. She’s also probably the one with the best shot at Rake on the level of both fan power and actual ability (honestly, the Malazan fans will have arguments marshalled and ready for anything Kelsier or Wednesday can throw at Rake, but balefire has been and remains basically the ultimate weapon of fantasy lit).

    Kylar Stern vs. Erevis Cale is very close. I’d rather Cale won at present just because I’ve become invested in his ongoing story, but it could really go either way.

    Mr. Wednesday should defeat Granny Weatherwax, but we’ve had ample time to see just how MANY fans of fantasy/comedy there are this time around, so Pratchett’s fans may overpower Gaiman’s.

    And Zaphod must be destroyed.

  • Sir Read-a-Lot

    @Shadow’s Bane

    You’re right that Moiraine is Jordan’s character before Brandon’s. However, the important points that they were trying to convey are that a) Moiraine and Kelsier have a large shared fanbase, and b) Brandon is capable of writing an accurate match-up for both of them.

    Both points are made clear by calling Moiraine Brandon’s character, which is not entirely false, even if it’s not entirely accurate either.

  • Samuel

    In fact, why not make it blatant? Zaphod delenda est!

  • gnoll

    How about the next cage match will take characters from other sci-fi and fantasy medias? Like the well known Order of the Sticks web-comics or Garrett from the Thief PC games? Or even Gutts from the Bereserk Manga (which all take place in a fantasy world).

  • Nick

    From Brandon Sanderson’s Blog

    ” If both Moiraine and Kelsier win, they will be up against each other next week, which would mean that (barring fires to put out) I would be inclined to do a writeup of my own. They have to survive this week before you get to see that though, and both have worthy opponents.”