Lists

8 Awful Eighties Fantasy Films You Probably Forgot All About

 

“The Dungeonmaster”/Shout! Factory ©

Barbarians! Dinosaurs! Lasers! The early eighties is a gold mine for fans of schlocky science-fiction and fantasy films. The mind boggles as to how some of these ever got made. There must have been something in the water — probably cocaine. Here are 8 that you might have forgotten.

“The Warrior and the Sorceress” (1984)

David Carradine, who got famous playing the warrior monk Cain on the hit TV show “Kung Fu”, plays “Kain the Warrior” in this terrible Conan knock-off from John C. Broderick. Wikipedia states that it is “noted chiefly for containing extensive nudity and violence”.

“The Dungeonmaster” (1984)

The dastardly “Dungeonmaster” kidnaps computer guy and casts into a dungeon to face its challenges. One of them is the metal band W.A.S.P. No, I don’t know why, either. The eighties were a special time. As bad a film as “The Dungeonmaster” is, it managed to leave its mark on popular culture with the quote, “I reject your reality and substitute my own!”

“The Blade Master” (1984)

Cannibals, bombs, snake gods, a guy named “Thong” … It is no wonder that this film got the MST3K treatment.

“Yor: The Hunter from the Future” (1983)

Reb Brown is Yor, a primitive tribesman out to discover his origins in a world populated by dinosaurs and androids. Unfortunately, our own world is populated by film critics, and none of them liked “Yor”. There’s a scene in the movie in which Yor kills a giant bat and then uses it as a hang glider, so at least it has that going for it.

 

“Krull” (1983)

“Columbia Pictures presents a world apart from anything you’ve seen before!” Good. Let’s keep it that way, Columbia.

“Deathstalker” (1983)

Deathstalker the warrior embarks on a quest to retrieve a set of magic items in the possession of an evil wizard and his monster henchmen. “Deathstalker” isn’t too bad, but It’s still not very good. I’m not sure why the guy is named Deathstalker, either. He doesn’t hunt death. Sherlock Holmes wore a deerstalker cap, but I don’t recall that he had antlers.

“The Sword and the Sorcerer” (1982)

Prince Talon and his three-bladed projectile sword fights a rebellion against the evil King Cromwell in this surprisingly dull b-movie. Talon’s sword gave me full-on nerd rage as a kid. It’s awkward and poorly designed for fighting hand-to-hand, and a crossbow or even simple bow and arrow would be a far better choice for fighting at range.

“Hawk the Slayer” (1980)

After his older brother, Voltan, slays their father, Hawk swears vengeance. Taking up his magic sword, Hawk and his valiant companions — a dwarf, elf, and giant — set out to rid the world of Voltan’s evil. “Hawk the Slayer” has become kind of a cult classic among some fantasy gamers: the movie you love to hate.