Cage Match 2010, Round 1: 14) Kvothe vs 19) Garet Jax



Image courtesy of Kim Kincaid

Garet Jax.jpg

Image courtesy of David A. Cherry

The Kingkiller
Age: Mid-20s
Race: Human
Weapons / Artifacts: Magic and his sharp wit
Special Attack: Misdirection

Garet Jax
Weapons Master
Age: Early 50s
Race: Human
Weapons / Artifacts: Anything he can get his hands on
Special Attack: Kraken Piledriver

  • Mesmerizes foes with his lute and sing-song voice
  • Master Namer
  • A living legend

  • A master of all weapons
  • Steely gaze and scary hood
  • Has fought a Kraken… and won

  • Just wants to be left alone

  • Lacks magic

How we think the fight will go

A grizzled Weapons Master walked into a bar, situated in the middle of a forest through which no one but he would ever travel.

The man’s face was obscured by a heavy hood, and a thick scarf was wound about the lower half of his face, obscuring his vision (but looking mighty intimidating). Strapped to his back were two scabbarded swords, crossed in an X, a longbow, a shortbow, two daggers, and a heavy quarterstaff. At his belt was another curved sword, two dirks, a long knife and what looked like a tree branch with a knobby end. Sticking out from the tops of boots were two more daggers and some throwing knives. He held a metal-capped staff in his hands. Carrying that much metal, it was amazing he could stand up, let alone walk.

The only person in the bar is a slender, fiery haired man–the barkeep.

“Hey! Aren’t you…?” said the grizzled warrior.

“Who? Me?” The man behind the bar was wiping down a mug, drying it just as he had with the hundreds of others lined primly behind the counter.

“Yes, you. You’re him, aren’t you?”

“Who?” said the bartender.

“Him,” the man gave the bartender a sly look, like one stranger may give another when they share a secret.


“The Kingkiller. Him.”

“I certainly don’t know who you mean, sir. Would you like a drink?”

The grizzled man tried a different approach. “My name is Garet Jax. And who are you?”

“A simple bartender. Would you like a drink?” he repeated.

“Yes. An ale. Your cheapest. Not much work for my like in these parts.”

The bartender drew a mug of watered ale and left a hearty head of white foam. He passed the drink across the counter. The man in black lifted the beer to his shrouded face. After three attempts, he put the mug (still full) down, defeated.

“Your shroud, sir. Perhaps you should remove it. Also, it is not raining in here, your hood can come down.”

The man in black pulled down his scarf and lowered his hood. He was ugly, with a nose broken more than once. Scars crisscrossed his face. “You’re him. I know you are. Look at your hair. I know you’re him. Kvothe.”

The bartender grunted. “No.”

“Oh, I get it,” he said, with the wink of an eye. “You’re not him. You’re just a bartender.”

“First, what is your name?” asked the bartender.

“Garet Jax. I told you already.”

“No, your true name.”

“My true name?” the man in black growled.

“Yes. Yes, your true name. We all have them. Perhaps it is a nickname, one you know but no one else remembers,” said the barkeep.

“Oh!” Garet Jax’s voice lightened. “Well my ma’ always called me…” and here he said something that was seemingly unpronounceable, but sounded like the wind whispering through a thistlebush on a chill spring morning. A smile touched his grey eyes. The grizzled warrior, defeater of Jachyras and Krakens and commander of armies, lost himself in reminiscences of his mother.

“Yes. Yes, that will do,” said the fiery-haired man.

“And that is important… why?” asked the Weapons Master.

Kvothe spoke Garet Jax’s true name, and the warrior died. His body melted away like a handful of wet sand dropped in a fast flowing river.

The barkeep went back to scrubbing his endless supply of ale mugs and listening to the three parts of silence.

Predicted Winner: Kvothe

(Kvothe is a character from Patrick Rothfuss’s The Name of the Wind; Garet Jax is a character from Terry Brooks’s Shannara series)

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49 responses to “Cage Match 2010, Round 1: 14) Kvothe vs 19) Garet Jax”

  1. Samuel says:

    Kvothe all the way. Jax is a good fighter, but in terms of intellect, magic, and pure soul, he has nothing on Kvothe the Bloodless.

  2. DiapDealer says:

    “(Kvothe is a character from Patrick Rothfuss’s The Name of the Wind; Edward Cullen is a character from Terry Brooks’s Shannara series)”
    Now that’s funny!

  3. dpomerico says:

    Good catch. I mean, we’re just editors here.

  4. James says:

    Garet Jax defeated a Jachyra, a super badass mega beastly creature from the time of faerie. Kvothe may be a king killer, but if you read the END of The Name of the Wind you may have noticed Kvothe can no longer use sympathy, which implies he can no longer use the names of things. That makes this a pure melee combat fight, and regardless of Kvothes magic, Jax would have defeat him easily with his cunning and deadly skills he has honed for decades. Kvothe may be a genius, but he’s spent too much time playing the lute and chasing after Denna to be a match for Jax. Do not forget Garet Jax’s existance is to find a foe greater than he. Kvothe hasn’t shown us a set goal in his series. Don’t forget The Dark Wraith of Shannara as well!

  5. Pixienin says:

    We never find out if Kvothe looses his ability to use just sympathy or all magic. I was under the impression that naming and sympathy were very different. *shrug*

  6. mack says:

    Garet Jax all the way. He’s the best fighter in the entire Shannara world. He took down a Kraken at a Dwarven Fortress in single combat. And as James said, he defeated a Jachyra. Allanon, who is a badass wizard, died trying to defeat a Jachyra. I don’t know much about Kvothe, but I know Garet Jax has never left an opponent standing and I doubt he plans to start now.
    Garet Jax advances or they kill each other.

  7. Sly says:

    I have no idea who Garet Jax is, but he default loses by having his swords sheathed on his back. Don’t care how good a fighter you are, doesn’t help if you cannot draw your weapons due to your own stupidity of putting them out of your reach. >_

  8. Matt Staggs says:

    I don’t know about Kvothe, but Garet Jax there is the spitting image of Rutger Hauer in “Blade Runner.”

  9. evans says:

    Kvothe! Kvothe! Goooooo Kvothe! He’s too clever by half, knows the names of all things (purportedly), learned to fight from the Adem, and is too clever by half again. But anyways, all he needs to do is play the lay of sir travien and garet will fall weeping to his feet.A nice clean kill.

  10. Extrachronal Pilot of the Tree of Pain says:

    Your point is silly — other useful weapons are at hand on his belt, and he is intelligent enough to know when to have his twin blades drawn or sheathed.

  11. Azrof says:

    As much as this would be an interesting match up, the flavor text is clearly slanted towards Kvothe.
    Do not forget that Garet Jax is the undefeated master of war in his world. At a time with magic, gnomes, trolls, and all other manner of beasties, he fought with simple steel. Heck, he *trained* Dwarven armies.
    At this point in the series, Kvothe simply doesn’t have the mettle nor the will to face an opponent so overwhelming. Especially without conscious control over his sympathy. (Previous poster, remember in book 1 where he destroys pottery).
    Garet Wins.

  12. Ashley says:

    Don’t forget that in The Name of the Wind we see Kvothe take on scrael *without* the benefit of sympathy (because, as you point out, he lost the ability to use it at some point). I think that points to some pretty significant melee fighting ability. However, whether or not it would be enough to take on Garet Jax is still anyone’s guess.

  13. Jonah says:

    I have a feeling that by the end of Rothfuss’ book (or maybe even book 2) I might vote for Kvothe. But with what we saw in book 1 there was no time he could take Garet Jax on and win.

  14. Sandor says:

    Rothfuss’s book came out with such promise that it was almost unsurprising how badly it fizzled in the end. Bad story, even worse writing. I’m saddened he might win.

  15. Somebot says:

    Eh…? “sounded like the wind whispering through a thistlebush on a chill spring morning” How is that even pronounceable in the first place? And why would his mother call him that!?
    True Names out of the way, Garet would totally pwn Kvothe hands down. like those above said, he took down supernatural GIANTS with nothing but the steel at hand. Kvothe got by, by calling them names.

  16. PewPew says:

    Sandor, are you high??
    Rothfuss’s book and writing are fantastic, his plots/characters are actually interesting and impressively original for a fantasy novel, and on top of that, he is one of the coolest authors around. Kvothe all the way!

  17. Mykal says:

    Ok, I’m with this story right up until Jax turns into an irrational idiot and starts talking about his personal life. The man that takes all holes and openings leaving himself with a gaping hole? Irrational. He’s got every advantage here, loaded for bear and ready for a fight. Kvothe talks him to death? Not even a weapon drawn from one of the more cunning and ruthless men in many ‘verses; not a single thought that offering up whatever the hidden Kvothe (already identified by Jax, mind you) is looking for might be a ploy, and a “Really bad idea”?
    Why is Jax written in with the intellect of a bag of hammers here? He’s for the win in this match up.

  18. Tsureio says:

    It doesn’t really matter if Kvothe got his true name or not. He knows the true name of a thousand other things in the room. He could have killed Jax with a candle and a string.

  19. kanatablues says:

    “Words are pale shadows of forgotten names. As names have power, words have power. Words can light fires in the minds of men. Words can wring tears from the hardest hearts. There are seven words that will make a person love you. There are ten words that will break a strong man’s will. But a word is nothing but a painting of a fire. A name is the fire itself.”
    After Kvothe beats Jax, he takes his lunch money.

  20. Fact is, it’s a hard match to elaborate on. Kvothe has one book thus far, Jax has more. We know more about Jax

  21. Jimmer says:

    I’ll agree that Jax’s writing in the text is ridiculous. However, Kvothe qould still wreck him pretty easily. He may not have full control over sympathy but names are different entirely. Besides, Kvothe has certainly began to reemerge from his bartender shell… and don’t forget that Folly is right up there on the wall. Good point about the scrael, too. He killed FIVE. That’s a lot. I’m sure Garret could too, but adding names, Kvothe is an easy victor.
    Also, whoever said P-Roth is a terrible writer, you did not read the same book I did.

  22. BigFatJellybeans says:

    How about we call this a draw until book two of The Kingkiller Chronicles comes out, hm?
    Would give a bit more background and/or depth to the ol’ Kvothe-miester and perhaps reveal some previously unmentioned skills he may have.

  23. Slinky's Love says:

    Ha! No way will Jax win. Are you kidding me? I may not have finsihed the first book of the Kingkiller series, but I’m smart enough to know that Kvothe will win this match.

  24. dpomerico says:

    No draws!

  25. mark says:

    Kvothe rules here. Their scenario may be a little silly (Jax is not that stupid), but Kvothe is a much better developed character. He could challenge Jax to a lute-playing contest, and not even let weapons into the picture. At this point in the series, we don’t know why Kvothe has lost the use of sympathy, but something tells me he’s going to get it back, and naming is separate, as people have pointed out.

  26. Citizen says:

    Also, Kvothe could actually take Aslan in the second round. Aslan has a pacifist streak, and Kvothe is not necessarily evil, so Aslan wouldn’t attack immediately. Kvothe is extremely well-educated, and can be presumed to have read C.S. Lewis, so he would know Aslan’s true name. He’s ruthless enough to strike first, and knows not to kill Aslan on the stone. So, Kvothe names Aslan, and hopefully picks up Aslan’s power to bring the world to an end, which he might need in the later rounds.

  27. Jacob says:

    Garet Jax wins.
    He has never lost a fight.

  28. Big.Fat.Dragon says:

    Maybe if Garet Jax wasn’t portrayed as a bumbling, hapless fool then he would have more votes?!
    He’s a weapons master! Not a dumbass. If he was assigned to kill someone then he wouldn’t waste time with the small talk! He would have stabbed him thru the throat in a blink of an eye while Kvothe was wiping the mug.
    You gave Jax zero cred.

  29. ilaby says:

    Kvothe would win – he has a sword AND naming/sympathy (he managed to smash that bottle of strawberry wine somehow, remember?)!
    Deadly combo dudes, deadly combo!

  30. Jimmer says:

    Well, obviously he has never lost a fight! If he had lost a fight before, he’d be dead! Kvothe isn’t dead either, and that’s why this battle makes a mite of sense at all.
    Ya gotta start losing them sometime, “weapons master.” This seems like a good starting point.

  31. Big.Fat.Dragon says:

    Perhaps. But you weren’t smart enough to finish a book and you weren’t smart enough to spell finished.

  32. Big.Fat.Dragon says:

    Well, obviously you’ve never heard of flesh wound? Please see Monty Python’s the Holy Grail. Also, please see above drivel that refers to “Scars crisscrossed his face.” I’ll take a wild stab and say it wasn’t from shaving or his favorite kitten. Don’t panic. I’m sure the editor will say it was frag from the golden grenade that Kvothe pulled from his bum and named stupid @!^&& lute.

  33. Rin says:

    In this fight, I actually enjoyed how Jax started rambling about his personal life. I think it tied in Kvothe’s special attack, “Misdirection,” rather well.

  34. David says:

    Kvothe would get Garet high from his stash of denner resin, then would see his true name while Garet sat there stoned off his ass. After seeing his name, he could hold his body frozen and do anything he wanted to him. He could disarm him and then slowly mutilate him with his own weapons if he wanted to. Worse case scenario, he cant find his name, so he calls the wind and the name of fire and lets a flaming tornado do work on him as he holds Folly, waiting for the finishing blow. Garet collapses as flesh melts off his bones and Kvothe stabs him in the throat. The End.

  35. Apple says:

    This really all depends on how these battles are set up. In some, they just happen as if both characters have suddenly become much more aggressive and, while they weren’t planning to fight each other, they meet and attack for no reason (like this one). Others, like the Shrike v. Dent battle, are planned. In a straight duel, Jax wins. But in something like this, where neither party is expecting a battle, Kvothe wins.

  36. Nathan says:

    This fight is SOOOOOO scripted to let Kvothe win. Isn’t this supposed to be a fight of these guys in their PRIME? Here you get an over-the-hill Garet Jax in his 50’s. Not exactly the fight anyone wants to see. Anyone see pictures of Hulk Hogan or Rick Flair lately? Not exactly the same guys they were back in the 80’s.
    This needs to get rewritten. Garet Jax NEVER is taken off guard, and Garet Jax never loses. He beat a Jachyra, with no magic of his own, equaling the same feat which the most powerful Druid (Allanon) in all of Shannaran history barely could do.

  37. Specter says:

    No. Not in their prime, not at all. A certain Lannister is currently missing a hand. Unless you consider being crippled top condition?

  38. LOL says:

    “Also, Kvothe could actually take Aslan in the second round. Aslan has a pacifist streak, and Kvothe is not necessarily evil, so Aslan wouldn’t attack immediately. Kvothe is extremely well-educated, and can be presumed to have read C.S. Lewis, so he would know Aslan’s true name. He’s ruthless enough to strike first, and knows not to kill Aslan on the stone. So, Kvothe names Aslan, and hopefully picks up Aslan’s power to bring the world to an end, which he might need in the later rounds.”
    Lol Citizen, stupidest post I’ve read so far on this site. Congrats.
    So, according to your logic, since you don’t seem to know much about Aslan’s nature in his books, can I assume that you’re simly not well-educated?

  39. cool guy says:

    This is directed at LOL
    “Lol Citizen, stupidest post I’ve read so far on this site. Congrats.
    So, according to your logic, since you don’t seem to know much about Aslan’s nature in his books, can I assume that you’re simly not well-educated?”
    You can’t talk, I mean how can you say that Citizen is simply not well educated when you can’t even spell simply. Oh and Kvothe wins.

  40. LOL says:

    LOL, good one ‘cool guy’
    spop on

  41. cool guy says:

    there you go again, you spelt ‘spop’ instead of ‘spot’

  42. Citizen says:

    LOL, I’ll hold my detailed Kvothe vs. Aslan scenario for the next round. I’m well aware that Aslan is “not a tame lion”, and has a number of powers beyond his one shot resurrection at the stone table, such as world-creation and destruction, not to mention turning people into donkeys by breathing on them. Aslan is indeed a force to be reckoned with, but he can be beaten, as can everyone in this tournament. Let’s see what tomorrow brings.

  43. Citizen says:

    And cool guy, thanks for the support. See you in future rounds.

  44. Brinn says:

    I picked up The Name of the Wind half a year or so ago but only got through the first chapter.
    Seeing Kvothe in this competition made med remember it and pick up the book again, and man am I happy I did because it is a really good one. Thanks to whoever put Kvothe in this competition!
    So, needless to say, Kvothe FTW!

  45. dpomerico says:

    And that’s the end of that chapter!
    Please check out the next match featuring Kvoth (versus Aslan):

  46. Thunderdome! says:

    […] Flatteringly enough, Kvothe is in there too, paired up against Garret Jax. […]