Our childhood heroes: R2-D2 and C3PO; Batman and Robin; He-Man. They entertained us with their feats of derring-do, empowered our imaginations, and sometimes – just sometimes – they even tried to protect us from life’s dangers and teach us things. Here’s a collection of ten of the most awkward, strange and just plain hilarious public service announcements from some of our favorite heroes.
1. He-Man and She-Ra: Child Abuse
He-Man and She-Ra want to talk with you about your body, and they won’t take no for an answer no matter how awkward or uncomfortable you feel about receiving this information from a half-naked man and his lady friend.
2. Star Wars: Drinking and Driving
Imperial Patrolman: I need you to step out of the sand speeder, sir.
Jedi: You don’t need me to perform a field sobriety test.
Imperial Patrolman: You’re drunker than I thought you were, old man.
3. Star Trek: Hard Drug Abuse
Seventies era kid: You know, I just got this really trippy album full of outer space noises and barbarian planets.
Other seventies era kid: Really? I didn’t know that Pink Floyd had a new album out.
Seventies era kid: No, man. It’s from some anti-drug group. Do you still have that bag of weed?
4. Star Wars: Smoking
Funny. The only smoking I remember in Star Wars was coming from the charred corpses of Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru. Too soon?
5. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Drug Dealers
Sure, kid, that drug dealer may be a turkey, but if he’s a Pubescent Radioactive Judo Turkey you might be in trouble.
6. Batgirl: Equal Pay for Women
I think I’ve guessed Batgirl’s secret identity: Valerie Solanas. Oh, Google it, you kids.
7. Wonder Woman: How to Make a Yo-Yo
You’d think that with an invisible jet, bullet-proof bracers and a
magic lasso that Wonder Woman would be able to come up with something a
little better than this depressing excuse for a toy, but if everyone
dresses like her back in Amazonia then I’m guessing she hasn’t had that
much experience with textiles.
8. Batman and Robin: Fruits and Vegetables
I’m not even going there. And by “there” I mean out to the country to
get a delicious snack with these two wholesome crime fighters. What did
you think I meant?
9. The Addams Family: Fire Prevention
Say, you know who would really be good role models for safety? The
Addams Family. Gomez smokes like a chimney, Wednesday and Pugsley play
with torture instruments and Uncle Fester has this special magic trick
that involves his mouth and a lightbulb. Perfect, sign them up. By the
way, you think that Thing could maybe teach a typing course down at the
10. Gremlins: Drinking and Driving
I’m thinking that the guy whose grandson couldn’t be trusted to not
swipe and sell an ancient mystical creature to a family of suburban
bunglers probably shouldn’t be giving parenting advice.