Cage Match 2015 Round 3: Susan Sto-Helit vs Alanna of Trebond


The Contestants



Susan Sto-Helit
Terry Pratchett’s Discworld
Age: Physically, about 20. Spiritually, about 55.
Race: Half Human, Half “Other,” as far as such a thing could be determined.
Weapons / Artifacts: Death’s sword, on occasion. Binky.

Alanna of Trebond
Tamora Pierce’s Song of the Lioness Quartet
Age: 22
Race: Human
Weapons / Artifacts: Enchanted broadsword, dagger, battle axe, spear, enchanted shield
Magic, including fireballs, windstorms and defensive shields.

The Breakdown


  • Not bound by most laws of time and space
  • Commanding VOICE
  • Kinda-blue sword that is not so much a sword as a representation of the concept of endings
  • Death of Rats, a more-or-less useless raven
  • Sort of a goddess?
  • Grim determination

  • Ambidextrous
  • Speed, agility, reaction time
  • Extensive training and battle experience
  • Experience with multiple fighting styles
  • Magic

  • Impulsive
  • Would be bored by the prospect of an arena match
  • Probably at least somewhat mortal

  • Doesn’t acknowledge her limits
  • Sometimes too dedicated to a code of honor
  • Weaker hand-to-hand skills make her dependent upon weapons


  • Michonne: Walkers don’t usually fight back.
  • Akasha: The Queen, overthrown.

How we think the fight will go

Sometimes, it must be said, being a protagonist is more trouble than it’s worth. Not that Susan Sto-Helit was one to complain, but sometimes she would really much rather her days teaching weren’t interrupted by supernatural circumstances whisking her off to do battle with what really ought to be figments of the imagination. Oh, she made do, of course, and was well-respected for it, but honestly, couldn’t someone else be called on to do the job once in a while?Someone like a lady knight, for instance. The fierce and battle-hardened young woman standing in the arena seemed like she would happily go into battle for king and country without a second thought.

Susan regarded the redheaded warrior with resignation. It was one thing to do battle on behalf of the Hogfather; quite another to be pitted against a fellow character.

“I suppose,” she said, voice clipped with impatience. “We should just get this nonsense over with.”

Alanna frowned, hefting her sword and eyeing the blade that Susan wielded. Clearly magic was in the arena with them, deep and old magic that, if given the choice, she would rather not be up against. The Lioness had faced greater foes, to be certain, and she was confident in her abilities. But something about this strangely coiffed woman was simply… disconcerting. Perhaps it was the Look Susan was fixing her with.

Shaking it off, the knight drew her sword. “The quicker the better,” she agreed, shifting into a fighting stance. The other woman did not follow suit – at least not to a degree that Alanna would find acceptable. She hesitated, and then gestured with her shield arm. “If that’s how you’re going to hold your sword, this is going to be very quick indeed.”

Susan glanced down at her a grip – firm, but decidedly untrained, unlike the knight’s. She shrugged. “So be it, then. En garde.”

After another moment’s somewhat regretful pause, Alanna charged. The white-haired woman raised up her sword, and Alanna checked her stride. It would be a quick fight, but she didn’t have to completely humiliate the other warrior. Just as she braced herself for the impact of metal against metal, though, Susan completely disappeared.

“What’s this?! If we are fighting with magic, you should have said so,” she said, temper rising with her annoyance. Susan reappeared beside her, her peculiar sword glowing blue.

“Oh, honestly. I would much rather not fight at all, wouldn’t you? All this running and thrusting of weapons can be so tiresome.”

Alanna scowled, lifting up her sword arm to bring down between them and force Susan back so she could attack properly. But before she could, Susan turned that Look upon her again. And she used her grandfather’s Voice, not unkindly:


Then that strange sword passed through her, and the Lioness’s last thoughts were only, But how?

Predicted Winner: Susan

NOTE: THIS MATCH ENDS ON Thursday, March 19, 2015, AT 11:59 PM, EST

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Cage Match fans: We’re looking forward to hearing your responses! If possible, please abstain from including potential spoilers about the books in your comments (and if you need spoilers to make your case, start your comments with: “SPOILER ALERT!”)